Late-Night Comics Lampoon Trump's New 'Gold Card' Immigration Scheme

Late-night's leading entertainers used the airtime mocking ex-President Donald Trump's just launched immigration initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," portraying it as a obvious pay-for-access arrangement for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Sarcastic Take

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday jingle about the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, then handing that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... destroys all he comes into contact with."

The focus was the new program which enables overseas citizens to acquire U.S. residence for the price of one million dollars, or "premium" version for $5 million. A government portal pledges approval "faster than ever."

"A brief thought here to affluent applicants: before you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He explained that the card is also meant to "squeeze cash" from companies wanting to hire skilled workers, requiring hefty payments. "That's a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choice – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he added.

"The best background check the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these people truly meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Roast

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he explained. "For a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"It might be time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the application, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging poll ratings during financial anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were mad about the economy," he said.

Recently, in a bid to discuss cost of living, Trump held a press conference in front of a selection of grocery items, where he reacted strangely to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative media arguments of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he laughed.